Finding Belonging in Egypt and Beyond - Edition 2 // 11.22.24

Dear friends,

It’s been a while since we connected, and I wanted to share some reflections from my recent journey to Egypt. This trip was special—it marked the first official family trip with my parents and my husband. Together, we explored Egypt’s rich culture, and I found myself stepping into a space of deep reflection.

As a very international family, we’re a beautiful mix of languages and backgrounds: my Guatemalan-American husband, my Chinese parents (who speak little English), and me, acting as the bridge between them. Soon, we’ll reunite with my aunt, who lives in Saudi Arabia, and my cousin from NYC for Thanksgiving. It’ll be our first holiday together in years—a truly international reunion.

As I travel, I’m reminded of the traditions we used to have as a family in China, gathering with relatives and creating memories that felt like home. But as we grew older especially after my grandfather passed two years ago, those moments have grown fewer, and this trip feels like a rare opportunity to reconnect.

This experience brought up many emotions, particularly in my relationship with my mom. She was diagnosed with breast cancer three months ago and has been recovering well after surgery, but it’s been a challenging time for both of us. Our love language has always been acts of service, but being so far apart, I often feel like I’m failing as a daughter and do not know how to be with her and communicate my love.

On this trip, I’ve been reflecting on how different we are in how we move through the world. Her quiet, timid ways have always triggered me, and I’ve found myself snapping at her and wishing she could be someone different—more outgoing, social, someone who could teach me things or offer meaningful advice.

But here’s what I realized: the problem wasn’t her—it was me.

My triggers weren’t about her behavior but about my own expectations and standards. I wanted her to fit into my idea of what a mom “should” be—someone who wouldn’t carry hotel plastic bags for towels when others might use something more “presentable.” I felt embarrassed, and worried about how it might reflect on me.

But then I thought: Who cares?

This trip isn’t about appearances or what others think. It’s about spending time together as a family. And the moment I let go of those judgments, everything shifted.

With curiosity and tenderness, I started to see my mom for who she is—a person with her own unique story, shaped by a world and experiences I can only begin to imagine. She told me about her dream of becoming a soldier as a young girl and how proud she was of her family for having three college graduates during a time when that was almost unheard of in post-revolution China.

Even the quiet moments, like sitting silently next to her on the bus, now feel enough. Our awkward hugs feel perfect in their own way. This trip is still ongoing, but I can already feel a shift in how we relate to one another, and for that, I’m deeply grateful.

Belonging isn’t about changing others to fit your expectations. It’s about seeing them—and yourself—with tenderness and curiosity.

Recap from Our November 9th Event: Inventing Home

Our last event, held in Venice on November 9th, explored this theme of curiosity and belonging in powerful ways. We began with a Kung Fu tea ceremony, grounding ourselves in calm and reflection, followed by Justine Reiss's inspiring vocal empowerment session titled “Reclaim Your Magical Voice.” It was a joy to come together, create, and explore what home and belonging mean in each of our lives. I hope the event offered you valuable insights, moments of reflection, and a sense of community.

Participants explored the moments their voices brought them home to themselves, reflecting through meditation, sharing, journaling, and vocal exercises. These moments reminded me how transformative it can be to hold space for self-expression and discovery.

​Special Thanks to Our Incredible Guides

​We are grateful to our Tea Master Xichun, whose skill in the art of the Kung Fu tea ceremony brought a moment of grounding and connection. If you want to learn more about her work or connect further, she can be reached at 949-735-6163.

​We were also so fortunate to be guided by Justine Reiss, who shared her wisdom and helped us all 'Reclaim Your Magical Voice.' Through her vocal empowerment session, Justine reminded us how powerful our voices are in bringing us back to our true selves. To stay connected with Justine, please feel free to reach out to her here.

Looking Ahead: A Journey to Discover, Release, Invent, and Charge

At the heart of Homecoming lies the 4 Pillars—Discover, Release, Invent, and Charge—which guide a transformative journey of self-discovery, clarity, and connection. These pillars provide a framework to explore what is truly meaningful and ground yourself in your values. If you know you want to participate or want to schedule a call with Shanshan for more information about it please schedule a call here.

Our upcoming Homecoming Retreat in Fengyu, Dali, China, from April 12–17, 2025, is designed to embody these pillars through immersive experiences and intentional reflection. Together, we will:

• Discover: Unearth the untold stories within ourselves and others through cultural immersion, like incense-making and tea ceremonies.

• Release: Let go of the judgments and expectations that no longer serve us, symbolized by a lantern ceremony under the full moon.

• Invent: Explore creative workshops that invite you to reimagine your path and deepen your connection to your unique place in the world.

• Charge: Step forward with clarity, purpose, and a profound sense of harmony, supported by the breathtaking energy of Dali and the connections forged during the retreat.

This journey empowers you to live with renewed curiosity and purpose, embracing both yourself and the world around you with a sense of deep belonging.

I’ll share more about this retreat in the coming weeks, but for now, I wanted to share these reflections and invite you to think about your own stories of belonging.

Thank you for being part of this community. I hope to see you at a future event—or maybe even in Dali.

With love and curiosity,
Shanshan

P.S. A question for your journal:
“What would it look like to meet the people in my life with curiosity and gentle love?”